hipstomp photo essays

When the going gets tough...

...the tough get going.

Going away, in my case.

A host of the dearly to meet me with hosannas sung at the door.

Out-of-Town
01

Hi.

This is where I live, normally.

But my good friend Mastercard bought me a plane
ticket to go to this other place for a few days.

Maybe you’ve never been to L.A. before. Well, I have
and I know the place cold. So peep the breakdown.

Every single building in Los Angeles looks like this. All of them.
This picture is of a post office. (They design them this way because
after an earthquake they straighten out.)

Everyone in California rides around in limousines.
Everyone--busboys, garbagemen, professional clowns, you name it.
At the end of a shift, limo drivers park their stretches and another
one comes to pick them up. The regular cars you see in the background
are just props for the many movies they film in L.A.

The City of Angels is just as valid a terrorist target as
New York. Here we see a constant reminder: anti-aircraft
palm trees keep important areas safe.

Los Angelenos keep their figures trim and their intellect
sharp by eating their staple bread, pictured here.

They develop a special taste for the bread at an early age.

I wasn’t kidding about the buildings. This is a Taco Bell.

In the competitive world of midtown coffee carts,
Ahmed and his updated menu kick things up a notch.

We are holding the star of "The Fast and the Furious" hostage
and if you ever want to see him alive again you'd better pick
up that damn phone and let us tell you where to bring the money.

We're also selling the super of your building
for two dollars and thirty-three cents.

Day 311

The Crips and the Bloods, unable to reach
detente, continue to mark their territory.

New and improved!
For truckers who suck at parallel parking.

On the Bowery I saw some asshole on a unicycle.
He might not be an asshole, but it sounds better
when you say "I just saw some asshole on a unicycle."

Coffee-table books and art galleries that are trying
too hard always show good graffiti, but it's important
to remember most graffiti just plain sucks.
Real bunch of Michelangelos on this fucking rooftop.

I'm a notcissist. (I like looking at
things other than myself in mirrors.)

Which is not to say I won’t take pictures of myself.
Welcome to Rain's Night World of Annoyingly Underdeveloped Photographs.

At the bar we enjoy sophisticated adult refreshments.

I think she thought I was kidding when I told her
this picture was going straight up on the internet.

Day 307

Insert informant here.

The Shining Path.
Like those Marxist guerillas.

My friend Kirk asked me to take a picture of him with an urban backdrop.
What he didn't ask me to do is post it on the internet for all the world
to see. But I like the picture, and you know what they say, it's easier
to gain forgiveness than permission.

(Kirk, if you want me to take it down, I’ll take it down...
if you can tell me what pi is to the 20th place.)

So at this company, when they fire you they push you out
the window, and you go down the chute and land in the dumpster.
But when the owner gets ready to leave, they move the chute slightly
and he lands on his motorcycle. Pretty cool if you ask me.

Can you guess what my new favorite thing to shoot is?

I won't think any less of you if you can't guess.

Okay that's a lie.