Where's the One-Nine and Three-Quarters?
Published Friday, June 09, 2006 by have Metrocard, will travel | E-mail this post
Today’s soundtrack: we can be happy underground
Today at 12:02pm: suffering fools on the corner
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Tourists are idiots. I used to think they were regular people like you and me, but now I know the truth. You can’t stand still for more than five minutes on any corner downtown before some tourist comes up and says “Can you tell me where the subway is?” after which the conversation always goes the same way.
“Which one?” you ask.
“Uh...any subway,” they say.
For chrissakes. This is like going into an airport and saying “Can you tell me where the gate is?”
“Which gate?”
“Oh, any gate.”
Tourists seem to think the subway is some magical place where trains at any station will take you wherever you want to go. They think the MTA is run by fucking Harry Potter. They seem to have no concept that there are 25 train lines that go different places, and I love when you’re on the east side and they ask you where the 1/9 is.
“It’s ten blocks west,” I say. Then they always make that face and go “Ten blocks?” as if I’m going to think about it and say “Oh, wait, I meant only ten feet. But don’t worry, there’s a Starbucks only five feet away where you can rest and have a mochaccino.” Get a goddamned guidebook, hah?
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Haha, in San Francisco, there's only one "subway," the BART (rapid transit). It's subterranean in the city and in Oakland environs. There's about 4 lines, but only 2 branch out into the city, and both run through every station in the city. So I guess that guy must have assumed that every subway station is Grand Central. You can catch every train going anywhere from the one place. >.>
That's the beauty of Times Square....it keeps most of the tourists contained in one spot and out of my way!
You're mean!
That's a bit unfair. Sometimes I look for any subway station just so I can find a subway map to look at.
If you took offense to this post, STAY OUT OF NYFC!!
well, at least you're staying within in the time tested stereotype of new yorkers being impatient jerks.
tlnd on 4:08 PM
well, at least you're staying within...
I started reading your comment, but was too impatient to finish it.
Sadly, I shall become one of those tourists. Hopefully, I'll randomly get to bug you.
Trains don't run the same way all places. Melbourne, 'zample, has a loop of stations around the city with the lines coming off in spokes. If you're in the city, the nearest station will have every train line passing through it. Sooooo, in other words, it's a magical place where trains at any station will take you wherever you want to go. Run by a geeky English kid with a gouged forehead.