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Today’s soundtrack:
There must be a reason that I have been hanging 'round
for so long in this goddamn café all night

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Today at 12:02pm: tapping

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I miss volume knobs, because I’m one of those people who constantly adjusts the volume of things. Everything’s all buttons now, which is ridiculous. We still have doorknobs. Imagine if doorknobs were replaced by buttons: You push it once and the door opens a crack, but if you want it open all the way you’ve got to tap the button like fifty fucking times.

I want a cell phone with a big, fat volume knob on the side of it. The sidewalks of New York are a bad place to have cell conversations. The coverage is great, but the prevalence of buses, fire trucks and jackhammers is not. Every time someone sets their house on fire they are basically condemning everyone in a five-block radius from having a cell phone conversation until the trucks make it there. Cingular, Verizon and T-Mobile should sponsor fire safety public service announcements.

Another thing I’d like to put volume knobs on is other people. Soooo many times in the subway you wish you could reach over and adjust the person next to you. I’d constantly be getting into volume wars with people, where I’d switch some girl off and her boyfriend would be all “Hey! I was listening to that” and turn her back up. I guess it would be better if you could hit “mute” and switch them over to subtitles you could ignore.

Anyways yeah, much of my life in the city is me living with incorrect volume levels. You can’t hear what you want, but the shit you don’t comes in Dolby Surround.

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