R.I.P., You Little Bastard
Published Sunday, April 30, 2006 by have Metrocard, will travel | E-mail this post
Today’s soundtrack: and a mortal minute makes it more
Today at 11:02am: the mourning coffee
This morning I was doing the dishes with rare Manhattan sunlight filtering in through the kitchen window when I noticed this big spider hanging out on the counter. He was just chilling out next to the sink.
I was psyched when I saw him because I like spiders. I don’t like them individually--spiders are like people in that if you look at them closely, they’re actually quite gross--but I like the concept of spiders: These big bugs whose sole purpose is to walk around your apartment eating other bugs.
I tried to shoo him away, so he would get back to work eating bugs, but he didn’t respond to my hand-waves. I then slammed my fist on the counter next to him but he still didn’t respond, meaning he was either dead or a very heavy sleeper. I looked closely at him to see if he was breathing (stupid, I know) but couldn’t tell, and got kind of grossed out. A second later it registered that the spider was sitting in the middle of a puddle of water, totally dead.
The poor bastard. I wondered what chain of events led this spider to die here next to my sink. Accidental drowning? Arachnosuicide? Did he fall from a great height, or simply die of old spider age?
My apartment is largely bug-free, which means the spider was either making a pretty good living here by eating lots of bugs and giving me the impression my apartment was bug-free, or that there were simply no bugs for him to eat at all. But he was pretty big, the size of a nickel, so I’m guessing it was the former. Over the next few weeks I’ll endeavor to observe if there is a rise in bug-related activity, particularly around the kitchen area, and then I’ll know.
9 Responses to “R.I.P., You Little Bastard”
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Perhaps he was too overzealous with his job. Maybe he had bad cholesterolor. Perhaps a heart attack. At any rate, I'm sure he had quite the fulfilling life. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. At some point, all of us are collected up in god's Great Paper Towel and flushed down the Cosmic Toilet Bowl.
Amen.
You drowned my brother in a pool of water! What have you done?!
You're just like a spider CSI.
Man, the tiny fingerprint kits must be a bitch to work with.
Those things are scary. I found a couple under my big that were big as a nickel. Couldn't sleep for 4 nights. K, I overexergerate, but yeah.
Rain - I like what you've done with the place.
-- Logan
I think you have got very busy checking out with bugs, or something else had happen to you nott posting anymore al all?
post soon!
The transition from livejournal to blogspot was a huge move. He must be tired from the packing and all that stuff that comes along with moving. hehehe. I love your writing btw rain. I hope to some day see you speak @ some event.
HATE bugs. SPIDERS SUCK!!!