Today’s soundtrack: I’mmmm on a straight line
Today at 1:02am: that Bauer guy is really something


After watching seasons one and two of 24 on DVD, I’ve decided for America’s next president I don’t want a Republican, or a Democrat, or even a politician. I want an actor. Specifically, Dennis Haysbert.

The American people should elect Dennis Haysbert President, and he in turn should hire the writing staff of 24 to be his cabinet. Haysbert as President David Palmer always says and does the right thing. He looks presidential, speaks clearly and is always composed. He’s tall, powerful-looking and has a tendency to survive assassination attempts. And with 24’s scribes guiding his actions our country could finally get back on track.

The President is a role Haysbert was born to play. The only catch here is that he’d have to stay “in character” for 365 a year, for four straight years.

The salary--about 400 grand annually, last I checked--is high in comparison to most quotidian gigs, even if 1.6 mil doesn’t seem like a lot (by Hollywood standards) for what would basically amount to a 1,460-day shoot. But let’s face it, Haysbert could use the work; guy’s been shilling for car insurance since his gig on the show ended.

So Dennis Haysbert, if you are reading this, your country needs you. And it would be so awesome if at the first Presidential debate, you would say something, then after you finished your opponent would start talking, but then you’d push a button and he would get drowned out by that electronic ticking-clock noise.