Today’s soundtrack: she get her back twisted in the unlisted
Today at 6:02pm: crossing the intersection diagonally



Fucking a, man. This week is Ex-Girlfriend Week. I got them stopping by the house, calling me up at all hours, and they all want the same thing: For me to make them feel better.

Which I do, of course, because you kind of have to, right? I mean how could you not when you’re their Go-To Guy? And I am The Go-To Guy. Shit fucking sucks sometimes.

But I’m not complaining. I can’t stand it when people complain so I am not complaining.

One of them called me up over the weekend, something about closure and blah blah. Another stopped by this afternoon. A third called to wake me up this morning, she’s Ex number...oh, who the fuck’s counting anymore. Said she couldn’t sleep all night. Was up thinking. Not about me, about her new guy, whom she just found out not only has another girlfriend, but is also married to a third, different woman, with whom he has a kid.

Lovely. And as I’m rolling over groggy and listening to this, my first thought was man--from a time-management perspective, the fuck does Joe the Juggler pull this shit off?

I held the phone to my ear and lay with my head face-down in the pillow. She talked until I said the right things--it’s easy to say the right things to an ex-girlfriend--and then at some point she got what she needed and hung up.

I rolled over and put the phone back, then lay there and blinked about a thousand times. Made that face you make when you know you’re not gonna be able to get back to sleep.

Got out of bed, cussed some, put the coffee on. Leaned against the kitchen counter and waited for it while the heat from my bed slowly evaporated, or whatever the fuck it is heat does when it goes away.