Today’s soundtrack: to all the people who can quest like a tribe does
Today at 11:22pm: chowing down in a diner



Some friend-of-a-friend came over the other night and peed all over my toilet seat. Twice, it was totally gross. And she wasn’t even drunk.

The ironic thing is this girl seemed so self-absorbed. I wish she was self-absorbed when it came to bodily fluids. I’m never letting a stranger in my apartment again.

Tonight a friend dropped in unexpectedly. She was distraught, looks like she and Mr. She are on the rocks. I tried talking to her and it didn’t help. I tried listening but lost my patience. I tried cheering her up by taking her out to a movie, but I forgot my medicine rarely works on others.

The things that make me feel better and the things that make others feel better, the things that make me feel shitty and the things that make others feel shitty, they’re almost never the same things. Within these miscalculated equations lie the basis for why me and society can’t jive.

Perhaps I should only meet with people to eat. Everyone likes to eat, right?

Wait, I can’t even do that. Most people eat three squares a day, and I prefer four triangles. I’d rather eat more meals and in smaller proportions. I think three squares a day is an unnatural and contrived way to eat, made popular by factory-worker schedules and, indirectly, the Industrial Revolution.

Sleep beckons, and I nod (off).

There’s a ghost in my bed.