- hipstomp

Published Wednesday, January 14, 2004 by have Metrocard, will travel | E-mail this post

Wendy’s Shoot, Day Three

By Day Three this film business is old hat. I show up in the morning, report to my trailer, fire the first of several masseuses I will fire throughout the day (“Harder...harder...TOO HARD...okay, you’re fired”) and take turns belittling my entourage of sycophants.

Okay so in reality I show up, stuff a free bagel in my mouth and park my ass on the couch in the dark, fake apartment. I experiment with the bagel, as I always do with food I don’t have to pay for (“How many bites can I finish this in,” “How much cream cheese is too much cream cheese,” etc.) and wait until someone tells me to get into costume.

Since I’m not in any close-ups, I don’t even have to sit through the makeup sessions, which look grueling. Apparently film reads makeup differently than the human eye does--after the cosmetic treatment, all the on-screen females look like they were attacked by Korean Mary Kay saleswomen.

Since Wendy’s my friend, I’m tempted to go over and bother her with my suggestion that I shoot all my scenes sans pants, but she looks like she’s busy and in no mood so I leave her alone.

My scene with JiHae goes fine, I “hit my marks” for all five of the takes. They say “Action” and she knocks me down, clean, simple and catastrophe-free.

I thought the scene was kind of unrealistic though; in real life, when women knock you down they usually follow it up by throwing flatware or breaking your favorite record album. And I hate when they pick you up in the Fireman’s Carry and spin around until you get dizzy.

Anyways, here are some flicks:

What you see, and what you get.

“I am too taller than the camera.”

The boom microphone, for those hard-to-reach areas.

“All I’m saying is, I’m not sure if a Kieslowskian, Fellini-esque mise-en-scene featuring a polemic for the plight of man is what this shot requires.”