Today’s soundtrack: When your conscience hits you knock it back with pills
Today at 1:02pm: scarfing ha cheung



I forgot to drink my gross medicine today, and I’m a jerk besides: I’m totally not listening to the doctor. She said no pineapple but I can’t live without it so I bought a big FAT one this morning and stuffed my face. I have not, however, kicked anyone. (Though the night is still young if you wanna go ahead and get too close to me.)



This afternoon I had dim sum with a couple of friends. Last night was the UFC title bout, and in case you didn’t hear, Randy Couture beat Tito Ortiz’s ass, man I can not wait to see that fight. We talked about it excitedly on the way to Dragon Palace.


SHADY: I heard Randy Couture beat Tito Ortiz’s ass last night!

MIKE: Who’s Randy Couture again?

SHADY: He’s the guy who beat Vitor Belfort.

ME: Who’s Vitor Belfort?

SHADY: The guy with all the Christ tattoos.


Shady’s girlfriend, disinterested, tuned out.


ME: Hey who do you think would win, Vitor Belfort vs. Jesus Christ?

MIKE: Hmm.

ME: I think Jesus’s ground skills would tip the balance.

MIKE: He’s got good stand-up fighting skills too.

ME: Plus he could kill Vitor in the ring, just kill him, and then bring him back to life.

MIKE: And kill him again.

ME: Buddha vs. Tito Ortiz.

MIKE: Come on man, Ortiz. He would totally put Buddha in the triangle choke.

ME: Mohammed vs. Randy Couture.

MIKE: Mohammed, hands down.

ME: But by knockout, or submission?

MIKE: Hmm....