Today’s soundtrack: fool that I am
Today at 8:02pm: chewing gum, lots of goddamn gum


What is up with this fucking weather. Every day it’s like London or Seattle up in this bitch.

Sorry I haven’t written and thank god for Etta James. Most of you know I’ve been staying away from the keyboard because I’m quitting smoking, and I associate writing with smoking. Am afraid if I sit down to type the jonesing will commence.

Well I’m going out of my goddamn skull now because write or smoke, I need to do one or the other. These things are integral parts of my personality. I worry something’s gonna break soon. It’s been 30-something goddamn days I’ve been trapped in this desert with no Camels and I am cranky like a motherfucker.

Wait a minute! It’s good that I quit. Good for me. I feel good.

Oh no I goddamn don’t. I want a cigarette so bad I could slap you, and I would if the interface allowed. I know it’s not your fault, you just clicked onto this journal page for the hell of it and ended up getting slapped for no reason. Maybe tomorrow will be better for you.

I wish tomorrow would be better for me, and by “better” I mean filled with big fucking clouds of firsthand smoke.

No I don’t, no I don’t. No, no, no. Camels bad. Very, very bad.

If I can’t escape with smokes, here’s to hoping I can write my way out of this bitch. If it works I’ll bring Kim Jong Il back to life.

You have vices too, don’t you, you silly little freak? I know you understand. Perhaps you eat too much ice cream or can’t put the Playstation down or you’re in your late forties but drive around elementary schools with no pants on. All of us have our demons we have to grapple with. Mine come twenty to a box and taste so, so sweet.