1. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have?
Double-drop-kick someone through a subway turnstile.

2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?
Fuck no. What sense would that make?

3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? What happened?
Yep. Worse than finding out they secretly liked me in “that way,” I found out they thought I secretly liked them in “that way.” It was like a bad episode of Three’s Company.

4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why?
I’d like to live in The Matrix so I could run up walls and kick people in the head and so forth. Also I would smoke opium, carry high credit card balances and subscribe to magazines I have no intention of paying for.

5. What's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted?
I wish I had a set of pipes like Mel Torme. Tease me about this if you’d like to get shanked with a rusty screwdriver.