Today’s soundtrack: don’t leave me high, don’t leave me dry
Today at 1:02am: scarfing leftovers


So that night at the bar, Handsome took a picture of me talking to that Japanese girl (the one who never responded). He e-mailed it to me with the line “Here, I’m finished jerking off to it” even though the girl doesn’t look so hot in the picture.

But anyways it got me thinking we should start a jerk-off chain letter. “You MUST beat your meat to this letter ten times in ten days. Then you must send it to an additional ten people who will choke the chicken, beat the bishop, play pocket pool. Then something MAGICAL will happen! That magic will announce itself as a burning sensation in your crotch.”


Hey remember the girl with the braids, at that other bar, the one I didn’t initially want to talk to? Well I got her e-mail address (verbally) which was basically her name followed by @hotmail.com.

But here’s the thing: Her name can be spelled several different ways and I wasn’t sure which spelling to use. I didn’t want to send an e-mail to a crapload of people with similar names so I’ve been holding off on e-mailing her.

But, she actually tracked me down! She did a web search and found an old e-mail address of mine. I just checked the account yesterday for the hell of it and found her letter. Next thing I know we’re on IM.

Alas, the girl is interesting and if my eyes can be trusted she’s cute, but she’s too, too young. Not counting the times I was in college, I dated a college girl once and I’ll never do it again. Number one I don’t need the drama, number two I can’t fucking afford it. You ever date someone with no income? It’s like they opened a black hole right next to your bank.

On the other hand, there’s no crime in just hanging out with her, right? She’s got a pretty interesting story and such very interesting hair...

She’s coming in Friday, but we’ll see if we actually end up meeting up. A week ago I had dinner plans with this super-hot poetess but she bailed on me. It’s the second time I’ve been bailed on by a poetess. So my luck is pretty up and down.