My picture thing seems to be broken. I can feel my journal getting boring.

Today’s soundtrack: Why do you come here, when you know it makes things hard for me
Today at 10:22pm: Chicken sandwich at Brooklyn Bagel Café.


2,099 MP3s. This morning I had exactly 2,100 but I deleted a Dead Milkmen song because it was pissing me off. Right now I have iTunes set on “Random.” Elvis Costello complaining about an ex of his. Do you ever pay attention to song lyrics? There’s some twisted shit in there.

Movies and TV used to be about good people doing good things (Errol Flynn as Robin Hood) or bad people doing bad things (Bela Lugosi as Dracula). Eventually they involved bad people doing good things (Brando as The Godfather).

It seems only recent that movies have been about good people doing bad things. There are too many examples for me to list. Society is bored with watching easily-understood morals. I believe evil fascinates us. Do you know the song “Lowlife” by The Police? It goes You pay for love, but the hate comes free.

The dating class is almost over, thank god, and then I get Thursday back. Only one more left and then I have to start writing it up for AsianAvenue. Tonight was class #5.

The psychotherapist in charge asked us to write a list of the things we love to do the most. He said we could write anything. I put pen to paper and didn’t stop moving it for six, seven minutes and had a fairly detailed list.

Re-reading it, I realized almost everything on there is something I can do by myself, in fact some are predicated on me being alone (solo international travel, for instance). That kind of scared me. Lam used to joke around and say I was like that song “Desperado” by The Eagles. It’s about a cowboy who fixes fences and won’t let anybody in. But maybe Don Henley wrote it when he was drunk and not feeling so good.

In particular I take a lot of meals by myself, which I didn’t realize until someone pointed it out. I have to admit there’s something slightly...sad about holing up in the seating section of some shitbox deli with a copy of The Post and sucking down a wrap, but that’s just how it is. Once you get to a certain age you stop caring about that stuff. For better or worse my schedule is independent of things like sunrises, sunsets and other people.

B-girl has a lot of good friends and a lot of people she can rely on (I think). Whether by choice or force, I don’t have that option checked off on my social conditions form. It only bothers me when I dwell on it, which is almost never. Anyways I like that B-girl is very social; it shows she is psychologically connected to things. I like making her laugh, her eyes get all crinkly.

Hey man have you been watching those BMWfilms.com? The Tony Scott one is pretty nuts, it always looks like his shit was edited during an earthquake. It’s got James Brown in it and Gary Oldman playing Satan (no shit) and some interesting lines. The car is hardly in it but who gives a good goddamn.