Today’s soundtrack: I’m going to the country, baby do you wanna go
Today at 8:02pm: Sucking down a budget V’namese dinner with Handsome Dan, Eggtart and Epak Chopra


Businessgirl went back to her hometown, (sigh).

Day before Thanksgiving. I didn’t get out of work ‘til 6:48pm today, long after everyone else had gone home. The self-sympathy reaction kicked in automatically, but then I remembered I didn’t go in today until 2pm. (Been sick.)

10:51pm and I’m about to get in the car, fight the traffic and head upstate. Burning MDs as we speak so I can crank “Statesboro Blues” on the way up. I have a small German car that was purchased the old-fashioned way so this will take some imagination to complete my drifter fantasies.

First I will have to pretend the car is an Oldsmobile 442 with whitewalls wider than my torso and a fuck-all eight-banger under the hood. Next I have to imagine the car is stolen. This is difficult since I am the owner. Perhaps I won the car from myself in a heated fistfight. Yeah that’s what happened, I came at me with a pool cue and then I broke a bottle over my head and everything.

Next, the altercation should have taken place in a diner parking lot, in keeping with faithful fantasy renditions. Even more difficult, since the shitbox 24-hour diner I patronize up the block has just been closed by the Board of Health, and more importantly they don’t have a parking lot. Well they do but it’s all of Kenmare Street. So now I had a fistfight with myself in the midst of Williamsburg-Bridge-bound traffic.

Fuck! My MD just mis-burned as I was typing this. If I hadn’t experienced my own bad luck firsthand I would think I was making it up. You just know, you just know I’m gonna hit traffic on the way up.

Fucking freezing in my apartment, the heat sucks in here. And now I gotta go to my parents’ place, where the heat is so low you could store fish in the living room. Should I take the West Side Highway or FDR Drive? There’s no stoplights on FDR but you pay for it on the Deegan. Then again the West Side will be jammed with GW Bridge bastards. Ah, what the hell am I asking you for. I should just get in the car and go, go, go.

Have a good Thanksgiving! Each and every one of you, even the ones I don’t really care for and had to block.

Of all the things you have to be thankful for, please be thankful for the fact that as you’re driving home, I’m not driving next to you. ‘Cause when there’s only space for one on the exit ramp, man, I’ll totally put you into the wall. Strains of the Allman Brothers preceding the sound of crunching metal and police are on the lookout for a stolen 442.