Today’s soundtrack: I’m a high school lover, and you’re my favorite flavor
Today at 8:02pm: In Hapkido class, quelling the urge to vomit.


I am very very tired, I haven’t gotten much sleep in the past week.

Hey so tomorrow morning I’m getting on a plane to Pittsburgh, got a speaking gig at Carnegie Mellon. I almost went there for college but the name bothered me, something about the Mellon part. I think if it was just called Carnegie I’d have gone. This is proof that at 17 I was definitely too dumb to be making decisions that would influence the rest of my life.

My friend Epak graduated from CMU. When I told him I was going there, he mentioned it’s one of the few colleges where homosexual-to-straight guy-rape exists as a crime category. I’m not sure why he told me that, maybe he’s hinting that I look like sexual prey. Well if there are any Asiaphile homosexual sex offenders in the greater Pittsburgh area reading this, know that I will bury my ring in your eye before you get a piece of this.

I’m looking forward to the CMU gig, I think this will be a big show. I tried to prepare well. And hey, I will be staying someplace that has cable, yeah man. Perhaps I will drape myself across the hotel bed languidly and eat cookies in a messy, disgusting manner while watching old Moonlighting episodes on Lifetime and wishing I was rich.

Oh man I dislike flying though, and in several hours I’m going to be on an aeroplane. I could’ve drove but it takes eight hours in the car to get to Pittsburgh. The only place I want to stay for eight hours is in my bed. In five minutes I’ll be there, and in ten I’ll be snoring. I won’t eat cookies in my own bed ‘cause I’m not, you know, an animal.

Alright ciao then. Back on Sunday.