Today’s soundtrack: but there’s no danger,
it’s a professional career
Today at 3:19am: Drinking hot tea and slouching


This weather is killing me. Namesake or no, the constant downpour prevents me from walking. Walking around helps me sleep better and gives me ideas. But I dislike getting wet, it destroys the illusion that I’m living in the future.

People have been getting drenched in downpours since the beginning of time. Since then we’ve put men, women, dogs and several monkeys in outer space but no one is working on the successor to the fucking umbrella.

This LiveJournal thing isn’t too bad, I only had to ban one person. (Church nut.) I had to get off AsianAvenue because I started getting notes from girls less than half my age. The first girl to write me an AA note ever was 21 and then they just kept getting younger and younger. At that rate of progression I would be receiving e-mail from fetuses within several years.

I was reading an article about LiveJournal. Says the average user is a 16-21-year-old female. I’ve caught onto shit late before but this time I’m the wrong gender.

Every half-hour or so I check my ‘fridge, to see if any delicious food has magically appeared there. I’m starving but don’t feel like eating pasta.

Lately a lot of people on LJ seem to be bummed.

My memory is all screwed up. If I was a computer you would take me to the shop. I have a fair amount of RAM--I can multi-task pretty well--but my head’s hard drive (head drive?) is pretty spotty.

Today I remembered (for the very first time) that a neighbor borrowed my Luscious Jackson CD and never gave it back. In 1994. This is the first time that’s occurred to me since I lent her the CD eight years and three apartments ago. I don’t know how or why I remembered that today. Meanwhile my short-term memory is shot; things I’ve done yesterday or in the past month are difficult to recall.

There are several kinds of stupidity. One kind of stupid can elicit laughter, the other kind of stupid is just depressing. My boss is that second kind. I want to seal him in some type of vessel that is leaving here forever. A plane, a train, a submarine, I don’t care. If I won a free trip overseas I would send my boss.

I am eating pasta now. I was going to eat mackerel out of a can but I ran out. Which is a mixed blessing if you ask me.

Just thought of something weird: If I continue eating mackerel, that means right now there is a mackerel swimming around somewhere that will eventually be caught and put in a can and I will eat him. I will take him out of the can and nuke him while I watch “Access Hollywood” and ignore the phone.

But that’s in the future, and right this very second he’s swimming around somewhere in the dark ocean. Swim for it man, swim swim swim. Enjoy life while you can.

It’s also weird that we don’t know where we’re going to go when we die. But I know where that fish is going: Aisle 17 at Pathmark.

Maybe when we die they put us in packaging and some type of creature we can’t conceive of buys us and eats us.