Today’s soundtrack: put on some clothes, shake off your bed
Today at 6:32pm: Me, Jiae and Lam stuck in 7th Avenue traffic. Work in our past, red lights in our present, crepes in our future.


It began this way. After a period of searching Lam found a job, and today he sent Tony and I his work e-mail address.

“Try not to send anything that will get me fired,” he wrote. I guess they screen e-mail at his job.

Tony and I each read this line sitting in our separate offices, me in the 40s, Tone in the ‘50s.

Tony fired an e-mail to Lam almost instantaneously, CC’ing me. Subject line:

“Your AssBlasters.com account has been activated!”

I hit ‘Reply All’ and typed

“Subject: Please renew your subscription to Orientails Magazine!”

I ate lunch in silence at my desk. Fifteen minutes went by and my sandwich went away and my stomach grew a little. Afterwards I opened my in-box to find I had been CC’ed on

“Subject: GayDadsGetaways.com - Your Itinerary”

from Tony to Lam. I hit ‘Reply All’ and typed

“Subject: CockMonster.com order confirmation”

and went out to get some coffee. Work is dull as fuck so you gotta break it up somehow.


In other news, Tony sent me the following list:

Cheating Songs Update


4 songs on feeling bad about cheating:

- Do Nothing Till You Hear From Me - Louie Armstrong

- How Important Can It Be - Joni Jones (50's White Pop Singer)

- I'm So Repentant - Dave's True Story

- Standing In For Joe - XTC

2 songs on feeling good about cheating:

- If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right - Percy Sledge

- Me & Mrs. Jones - Billy Paul

1 song on wanting to cheat:

- It's Alright With Me - Ella Fitzgerald

5 songs on pissed off about being cheated on:

- Think - Aretha Franklin

- Alison - Elvis Costello

- Chick Habit - April March (60's french rock)

- Give It Up Or Let Me Go - Bonnie Rait

- Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing - Chris Issak

2 songs on getting caught cheating:

- One Way Out - Allman Brothers

- Gimmie Three Steps - Lynyrd Skynyrd

1 song on confronting the hussy:

- You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man - Loretta Lynn

1 song on forgiving the cheater:

- Poor Side Of Town - Laura Cantrell (Country)

1 song on how empty cheating makes you feel:

- Lyin' Eyes - The Eagles

2 songs on making the cheatee feel better:

- Tell Mama - Etta James

- Learning The Game - The Lemonheads


and my own contributions,


1 song on general complaining about being cheated on:

- Your Cheating Heart - Patsy Cline

1 song about your woman cheating on you with a rich doctor:

- Hide Nor Hair - Ray Charles

1 song on meting out retribution for having cheated:

- Payback - James Brown

1 song on resolving a cheating problem with a pistol:

- Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix

What can we draw from all this? Only two songs have anything positive to say about cheating, and those are both written from the perspective of the interloper, not the cuckold.

Cheating: It will make you feel good, then very, very bad. Generally speaking it looks as if the cheatees end up worse than the cheaters, except for that last one there.

Yeah man, if you’re gonna cheat you better not be dating Jimi Hendrix’s friend Joe. He takes that shit pretty seriously.