Today’s soundtrack: Took my girl to the World’s Fair
Today at 8:02pm: the punching, the kicking, the screaming, the sweating


So psyched! At work they gave me a retired G3 laptop, the same body style as my screen-less laptop. So after work I took it to Tekserve to have the screens swapped.

The technician who changed it for me was this hot half-Asian girl. Something very sexy about watching this punk rock girl dismantle my laptop and know exactly what the fuck she’s doing. She had all these cool little tools and she let me watch.

She also had a big picture of her boyfriend up on her desk. In the photo he’s swinging a baseball bat on a grass field. He was neither half-Asian nor hot.

Saturday’s planned Boston trip fell through tonight. Eggtart bailed out yesterday and this evening three others followed suit. I will present the rejections here in a dramatic military-style re-enactment.


ME: Sergeant Shady, is our Boston mission a go?

SHADY: That’s a negative.


ME: Lieutenant Lam, is Operation Beantown five by five?

LAM: Negative.


ME: Major Moonberry, are we ready to mobilize in quadrant 617?

MB: Negative.


ME: You’re all a bunch of insubordinates! I’ll have all of you court-martialed. Gonna sic JAG on your asses.

Tonight I grabbed some chow with Moonberry down at this crepes joint on Grand. Just two screennames getting dinner. Afterwards I dropped her off at her car and the weirdest thing happened. I’m walking down Broome Street when I see this woman up ahead standing in a very dynamic position. Her arms are moving.

I get up close...and see she’s doing Wing Chun in the middle of the fucking sidewalk. It’s like, 11pm or so. Even weirder, the woman is white and looks to be in her late 30s.

As I pass, she sees me looking at her and she stops. I stopped too. I thought it would have been really funny if I got into a Jackie Chan position and screamed “Come on bitch, show me whatcha got.”

Instead I said (very politely) “Are you doing Wing Chun?”

“Yes, sort of,” she said. “Iron Butterfly, it’s related.”

I was about to follow up with another question--or a furious salvo of kicks--but all of a sudden the door behind her opens. A friend of hers whom she’d been waiting for (I assume) comes out and holds the door open for her.

The Iron Butterfly woman greeted her friend but stayed facing me, either to entertain another question or to defend herself against a furious salvo of kicks. I waved politely and continued walking.

I told Shady about the Iron Butterfly when I came home. He says I should have challenged her to a death match.

Just thought of something: Maybe the Iron Butterfly was waiting for that other woman to challenge her to a death match. Perhaps I should have stuck around.

I only went to Hapkido twice this week, but I’ve been pushing it a little too hard. I don’t know where all this energy is coming from. Perhaps I have some pent-up issues? Miscellaneous Korean Rage? Too much coffee? Lack of sex getting to me?

I think I overstretched, my body’s going to hate me tomorrow. I used to just hate it right back but my Sabumnim says this is not the way. I’m not supposed to hate, I’m supposed to flow.

One day I’ll Flow like Mel’s Diner. Then I’ll swing by Tekserve and see if Baseball Boy’s picture is still there.