Today’s soundtrack: unpaid bills...Afghanistan hills
Today at 7:02pm: Doing involuntary push-ups.


Midnight on a Wednesday and you have to ask yourself, do you really wanna go out to a bar? Do you really want to put your Outside Pants on and stuff some crumpled, miraculously unspent bills in your pocket and go?

Or do you want to just stay home and chill. Catch a little Conan, make a nice pot of decaf, write your silly little stories.

Last night I chose wrong, I went to the bar. You shouldn’t go simply because you have nothing better to do, right? I used to think some sensation, any sensation was better than no sensation at all but now I’m not so sure.

Speaking of sensation did you ever drink absinthe? I drank it last year in Hong Kong. I’m not much for drugs and shit but absinthe was fucking awesome. It felt like listening to all the best Radiohead songs in a cloud filled with pretty girls.

I’m hiding from my “novel.” I put “novel” in quotes because until I make some significant fucking progress it’s just a joke, a loose collection of unintelligent sentences that all happen to be in the same Word file.

When I’m writing it I see the characters moving around, I hear the things they say and I transcribe it.

When I’m not writing it I see the characters frozen in suspended animation, just sitting there floating. Doing nothing, saying nothing. They’re so sad when they’re not doing anything, it’s almost like they’re temporarily dead. Sometimes I go for a walk and they start moving again. Other times I look in the mirror and see a grim hack.

GenerationRice is having their 4th anniversary so Cia wanted me to shave something commemorative in my head. I used a tape measure and measured my head to see what would fit.

While I abandoned the idea of shaving any message, I did discover my head is 22” in circumference. Later I asked Moonberry how big her head is, just out of curiousity, and she seemed to take issue with the question. Eventually she measured it and told me. It’s within an inch of mine.

I’m not sure what we should do with this knowledge. I’d like to get all my friends to measure their heads, for the sole purpose of isolating the person with the biggest or smallest head and ridiculing them. Me and most of my friends are downtrodden minorities so I figure we should mimic the oppressor and single one of us out for persecution. Head size is as good an issue as any, no?

My friends may not want to measure their heads, so we probably have to do something sneaky. Like having hats made in specific sizes and suggesting to friends they try them on. (“Pssst--look, Lam fit the #12!”)

Next I want to weigh my head but I can’t figure out how to do this accurately in a manner that doesn’t involve my death. I’m not ashamed to say my head probably doesn’t weigh that much.

I had to do a lot of push-ups in Hapkido today. Gregory was teaching the class and he used to be in the fucking army, so he goes nuts with the push-ups if you don’t line up straight and stuff. Every time someone committed an infraction the whole class had to do them.

It’s a peculiar thing to think everyone in the class is paying a monthly fee for the privilege of having a former Staff Sergeant or whatever he was tell you to do push-ups. But that’s the nature of the beast, right? Beats the shit out of Crunch.